In 2023, I met someone and we took shifts sleeping and staying up. She would take the day and I would take the night. We had two shifts and we decided that it would be a better idea if we teamed up and split the work between us. We met other people who had shifts at different times. We used to spend most of the shifts together and we did things together because there were so many people at so many different shifts. As a final kindness to me, she added Intersection by Modern Baseball on our shared playlist.
In 2026, I have no shifts. I am about to hire a stripper this weekend so that someone hangs out with me. I don't want anything physical with her. I would just like to buy someone drinks and talk to me normally. It would be nice to be looked at as a person.
I live in a depraved void ex nihilo not as a result of my external or imposed material conditions but rather as the end result of my own inability to measure life past its cynicism. I cannot reconcile the goodness of the world with its own evil. My body is stiff, my joints creak, and my muscles are tight. I would like to dance. I would like to move my body in shapes and contortions. For blood to rush from the corners to the tips of things."What if people were good?"